The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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