Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
