I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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