What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just found puke in my bra..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
