erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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