I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
