I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
