So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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