I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She has the best kind of daddy issues
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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