I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
