I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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