Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
