I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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