I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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