Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
