eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
