Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
