it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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