Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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