I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
