If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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