I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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