Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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