Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
