do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
