i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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