well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
