Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize