It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
