nut hugger
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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