he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize