Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
