My first STD was from a foam party
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
