There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
