Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
