that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
