I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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