Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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