Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
