I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
