Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize