the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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