What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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