you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
