Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize