I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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