***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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