We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
