I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
