God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think I sprained my soul last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
