Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
