she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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