So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
