This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
