you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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