Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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