its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
