Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
