Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize