ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Every concussion has its silver lining
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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