3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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