3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
