I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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