What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
