You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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