Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
