I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
