I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
