I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
