her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
