I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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