You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
handjob tips. give me some.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
