My nipple is on Facebook.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
please don't ironically join a cult
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