you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
