So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
