Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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