If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
