It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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