So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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