I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
