"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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